Why is Socialization So Hard for Teens and Young Adults on the Spectrum?
Author - Bethany Scruton, BCSC Autism Coordinator
Navigating the social scene as a teenager can be difficult. Add Autism into the mix and it can seem almost impossible. Entering into high school presents itself will all kinds of social challenges, one of those being the large population. Up until this point, students have been in a much smaller environment. The elementary school years where they had 25 kids in their class, then middle school with a much larger population than elementary but is broken into teams to create a smaller community within the whole school, then BAM high school. It can leave teens asking “How do I find friends?” “How do I approach new people?”
One of the biggest areas I see the students I support struggle is with the unwritten social rules of high school. Up until this point social interactions seemed to follow all the “rules” that had been taught in elementary school social groups. But high school brings its own unique challenges of a social hierarchy and the popular kids being able to act one way due to their status and everyone else having to act another way. These unwritten social rules can be very confusing for an individual on the spectrum who has always been encouraged to watch peers for clues on how to act and imitate what you see being done.
With the large population and unwritten social rules of high school it can leave teens without authentic opportunities to be social. After graduation, socialization can become even more difficult. As young adults enter “the real world”, a setting with little to no natural peer interactions, it can become increasingly difficult to be social. An unfortunate situation that leads to high rates of depression for those on the spectrum.
So we know socialization is difficult for many teens and young adults on the spectrum, but what can you do about it?
The first step is to identify specific skill deficits. For example:
Awkward social approach
Inability to ready body language
Making off topic comments
Only talking about one specific interests
The second step is to practice the appropriate skill in a small, safe environment.
Approach new people
Identify a variety of of facial expressions
Have a system to identify off topic comments
Practice giving follow-up comments or questions about a non-preferred topic
The third step is to connect with others and continue practicing the skill. Think about places in the community that would lend itself to practicing:
A restaurant
Church
A phone call
At the dinner table
A small group of peers
Remember that the social nuances that come naturally to typical teens and young adults might never come naturally to an individual on the spectrum. As parents and caregivers you might have to create opportunities for your teen/young adult to be social. The goal is always, that with continued practice across settings, the individual will generalize the skill and become independent.
To sign up for a parent/caregiver dialogue with Bethany for Wednesday, November 11 at 5:30pm, please register here. If you missed it, please email us and we can get you a recording!